Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sleep walking

Not sure if sleep walking is one word er not.I dont really care
I havent written anything in a while,so I thought I would use my dreary day today to tell you a lil story of sleep walking that happend to me when I was 25.

It was X-mas break for my friends that were going to film school in Fla,I had been living with them in Fla for a few months,I had gone there for a "long vacation to get away from a certain woman who broke my spirit".we had come back to NC and I was staying with my friend "Stu" at his parents house.
It was our second night in town and my first night satying with stu we had come home very late and his parents were asleep,stu and I were in his room watching dvds and playing dum dum computer games I had 2 24 oz beers that I drank down in a hurry.then it was off to sleep on the floor,I closed my eyes and I drifted off.
When I awoke I noticed it was very dark and I was stumbling on something,I didnt know where I was or how I got to where I didnt know.A split second later I heard a woman screaming,at first I could not tell that she was screaming at me and i could not tell what she was saying,it was kinda like turning up the volume on the TV it just got louder and louder "WHO ARE YOU WHO ARE YOU!".I relized then that I was in my boxer shorts standing in a closet stumbling on shoes and not in my blankets where i had left off."WHO ARE YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE" she screamed at me I remember having my back turned to her and i turned around to see stus mom on the other side of the room with stus dad standing in front of her pointing a pistol at me.
I had met stus parents years ago and only twice,I dont think they remembered me nor I them.
I stood there confused and lost,and Harry (Stus dad) still had his gun trained on me.
"I'm Stus friend,Robert,I dont know what I am doing here I dont know what is going on!"
then I started to cry,yeah thats right I cried like a lil boy who fell off his bike and skinned his knee.
they must have figured out who I was cause stus mom put me in the spare room downstairs,I was still crying and saying over and over that I was sorry and I didnt know what was going on.

The next morning I awoke to shame,I got up remade the bed and went to the living room where i again dumbly one was mad and harry actually thought it funny he almost shot me.
I think i had to piss in the middle of the night due to the beer i had drank,I walked downstairs missed the bathroom opened his parents bedroom door walked into their closet and pissed all over his moms shoes where I awoke to chaos.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Trucks and dinner

When I was a kid I couldnt say the word truck as an adult I can hardly even spell most werds even with spell check,cause really I do not brother tom said I would say fuck for truck when I was 3.I dont know if this is true and I have yet to confirm it with mom.
so for any truck lovers and lovers of big mud puddles and mundane series of pictures here ya go.

Those pictures were taken at the end of my road in Big Sandy Mush Leicester NC 28748
meet me there sometime and we can do what the locals do..drink alot of beer,litter and watch the cars go by.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Yep I nailed it

I totally got the right name for this blog.
this is the stoopitest thing eva.
I havent come up with anything witty to say yet but i'm a werkin on it..I did tell my girlfriend tonight if 'you put a quarter behind her ears her teeth would fold back'.
I'm not sure what that means but i think it pertains to BJ's.
or gumball machine/BJ's or still I am not sure.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

How to be late for work

Heres a list of creavtive ways to be late for work

Sell your car
play dumb dumb computer games till the last second
wait till the very last possible moment to get dressed
call everyone you know and get a ride
buy a very unreliable scooter
get a Donkey
Jerk off at the very last moment
get way too involved in a lengthy porn movie
stare out the window thinking how you shoulda listened to yer dad
watch TV with one shoe on
keep telling yourself 'just one more just one more!'
step in dog or animal poo

forget it

Saturday, July 11, 2009

So Stupid Crap

This is bullshit,I cant get the freakin thing to upload any pictures.
I want to show those who will look/read what stoopid crap I have to say or to show you.
stoopid crap